Clem and Maybelle have been going out for the last 32 years on this day for a nice country drive in celebration of their wedding anniversary. It's their way of keeping the magic of their marriage alive through the long and difficult years. As members of the local Church of Jesus Christ of the Evangelizing Angels, Clem and Maybelle take their marriage vows seriously, and do everything they can to maintain the holiness of their bond. It so happens that Clem and Maybelle, like many other young courting couples, used to go out to Seldom Seen Road to be "alone" together, but unlike those godless types who are given to committing illicit acts in the back seats of cars, they always stayed in the front seat and simply held hands.

On this evening Clem slows down as the sign of Seldom Seen Road comes into view.

"Do you see that, Maybelle? There is the very road where you and I declared our love before the Lord on that day so long ago..."

"Oh, yes, Clem," replies Maybelle, blushing to the roots of her blue-permed hair. "How could I ever forget that wonderful day? Oh, Clem, why don't we go and look at the very spot where you held my hand and spoke those words I shall never forget?"

"Why, that is a fine idea, Cupcake..." Clem begins to make the turn. He is halfway into it when he notices the sounds of rapidly approaching vehicles, and a siren...as over the hill roars the red pickup truck, fishtailing wildly, with the screaming police cruiser in hot pursuit. The sound of the siren blends with Maybelle's terrified shriek as Clem's fingers freeze white-knuckled on the wheel.

"Oh SHIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTT!" screams Shane, violently wrenching his wheel to the left. Don's pickup does a screeching slide across the road, just barely clips Clem's Bonneville a glancing blow on the left front fender and sends it spinning off the other way, into the path of the oncoming cruiser.

"Look out!" yells Officer Dana. Officer Crayne turns white and hit the brakes so hard that he damn near drives the pedal through the floor. The cruiser misses the spinning Bonneville by a hairsbreadth, does several screeching donuts down the road and ends up in the ditch with its nose pointing due south and its tires smoking........as Don's pickup meantime sails backward clean through a barbed wire fence and a stand of cedar saplings and into the midst of a blackberry patch. The engine coughs and dies.

Shane tries desperately to restart it, but without success. He has come to the end of the line. It is definitely time to abandon ship. He tumbles out of the truck and fights his way frantically through a mass of blackberry bushes...

Officer Dana leaps out of the stranded cruiser and quickly checks out Clem and Maybelle. They are shaken up, but unharmed. She rushes back to the cruiser. Officer Crayne is still hanging on to the wheel, hyperventilating.

"Snap out of it!" she yells, shaking him by his shoulders. "He's getting away!" Crayne goggles at her wordlessly and gets out of the car. "Follow me!" she snaps, unholstering her sidearm.

Shane, swinging his arms like a demented circus clown on a rampage, plunges northward through the blackberries. "This is not flippin' goin' like I planned it," he complains. "Ouch! Flip me! Ow! Ow! Ow! Oh, Jeez! Flip me!"

Definitely not a good day for unrequited love in the wilds of North Ontario.