"most states I've seen that inspect for rust specifically prohibit 'duct tape' patching"

No kidding!!! Really??????? By God, it's a damn good thing I have you around to advise me on matters like this, John. ;-) Hoo, boy, you might've saved me from a serious embarrassment there. Tell me, do they also specifically prohibit driving backwards down major highways at speeds exceeding 65 mph, whilst wearing a blindfold?