Ha! Well, you know what the aliens (the good ones, I mean) tell me? They tell me that Bearded Bruce is not an original inhabitant of this planet at all. No. He's not even human. He is an alien-manufactured android, programmed to write an infinite number of sonnets. He was planted here to sow confusion and dismay while the other aliens (the bad ones) prepare their takeover.

Don't believe anything he says! ;-)