I hate all of you. :-)

I have my great grand-dad's (mostly) open-hole Boehm flutes,
including a beauty with an Ivory head-end. Can't get a bloody
note out of them, though I can play a Coke bottle with aplomb.

(Grandpa Lill was 'Pennsylvania Dutch' and played in 'oom-pah'
bands)

Countless flautists have tried to train me to get a note out
of the bloody things, but I think my face is just the wrong
shape.

Dammit all anyway! (He said, picking up his melodeon)