The following might be better under the Regional Expressions thread, as Americans use "elevator" where we use "lift" but the intent of the story is the same as in this thread.

It concerns a bloke from Tibooburra (way out 'back o' Bourke' and well beyond the black stump) who had to go to his insurance company's head office in Sydney. He'd never been to the smoke before and was amazed at the huge buildings. He found the correct building and was, as you might expect, confronted with a wall of glass in which a set of glass doors had signs reading "Push". So he pushed one, it opened and he went in. Just inside was another wall of glass with a similar set of glass doors; these had signs which read "Pull" so he pulled one and it opened and he went through.

Inside was a huge atrium with, opposite the glass doors, a wall of marble. Set into the marble was another set of doors and he struggled there for hours; the signs on these doors read "Lift".

But you wouldn't dare call him a new chum. Or even wet behind the ears. Perhaps an innocent abroad.

Cheers, Rowan