Hey Pat ma dear. Throw something at me...go on.
Let it out. You are fully entitled to feel sad and angry. They are YOUR feelings. Feel them.
Past lives aside. (I tend to agree with Gnu on that)
Losing a treasured Friend suddenly is like being stabbed in the Heart.
As for the job...well would you want to be going into work feeling so sad? There are other jobs. True Friends are rare however and cannot be replaced. So feck the job and maybe see losing the job as a blessing that is allowing you to take the time to grieve the real loss that is hurting you so much.
It will take a while to heal but heal you will.
I think you are one of finest Folks that post on the Mudcat.
Please know your loved, unconditionally by many here. (so throw away, just yell before you launch any missiles, that way I can at least try to dodge them *soft Smile* )
Thinking of you Pat and sending you LOVE and LIGHT.
You are so strong and have endured so much in the last Year and came out fighting and I admire you and I also admire the fact that you are one of those rare beings that own their own feelings.
I know that these are just words but there is a energy behind them that I hope you can feel darlin.
Holding you in my Heart till yours mends.

Jude