From YouTube:

WHY DON'T WOMEN LIKE ME?
Written by Jack Cottrell, Bud Bennett & George Formby
Performed by George Formby in the film "Boots! Boots!" (1934)

Now, I know I'm not handsome; no good looks or wealth,
But the girls I chase say my plain face will compromise their health.
Now, I know fellas worse than me, bowlegged and cross-eyed (?),
Walking out with lovely women clinging to their side.

Now if women like them like men like those, why don't women like me?
Look at Empress Josephine,
The most attractive woman that ever was seen,
Yet Napoleon, short and fat,
Captiviates a lovely-looking dame like that.
Now, if women like them like men like those, why don't women like me?
Hey, hey, why don't women like me?

Last night I went out walking. My intentions were to click,
But the sights I saw while walking out, they nearly made me sick.
I must admit I saw some girls, attractive little dears,
Arm in arm with ugly men with cauliflower ears.

So if women like them like men like those, why don't women like me?
What can the attraction be?
That's the thing that always has to worry me.
Although I haven't got a bean,
I've got a lot of things that girls have never seen.
So if women like them like men like those, why don't women like me?
Hey, hey, why don't women like me?

Now, if women like them like men like those, why don't women like me?
Take Lord Nelson with one limb:
Lady William Hamilton she fell for him.
With one eye and one arm gone west,
She ran like the devil and she grabbed the rest.
So if women like them like men like those, why don't women like me?
Hey, hey, why don't women like me?