There are lots of different people in this song: "you" and "me" and "we" and "they"... it's rather unfocused. As Bill D says, you need to identify your target more clearly. Is it "them"? Okay, then; who are "they"? Is the "you" whom you are addressing part of the "we" or part of the "they"?

Bill D also makes a good point about not making your listener work too hard at figuring out what your imagery means. You've got a mish-mosh of images that may or may not be related: a body in the sea, shooting lights out, colors that change, following signposts on a road, burning picture books, lucky gods, rhymes and pledges, killing and sparing, waving flags, karma, calling cards, the ubiquitous "stay the course" phrase, the cliched "road to ruin" phrase, old people, young people, songs being sung, burning [again!] bridges, burning [again!] flags [again!], ashes [burning again!], body [again!] bags, and you looking "in" [inside?] from the "outside" telling someone inside to blame some ambiguous population.... I'm lost. I don't know where to imagine that I am in this song -- in the ocean or on a road or in a cloud of smoke!

You will need to bring the imagery into focus in order to make this song make sense. You seem to be speaking to the listener directly so you will need to decide what your message is. If, on the other hand, you are speaking to someone other than the listener (the government? soldiers? terrorists?) then you need to direct your statements toward that someone. Otherwise you have just another stereotypical bit of generalized whining about how terrible war is, which everyone knows already. Make your message stand out -- make it your own -- make it specific -- and make it clear!!!

Sorry, but this is the hard part about songwriting: taking it apart and putting it back together so that it works better -- like a robot. Too many people treat a new song like a baby instead, a living thing that needs to be coddled and dressed in frilly clothes (or, in this case, dressed in the studio with multiple vocal tracks and synthetic violins and crowd-noise effects). In other words, they see it as something that's been born fully formed from the womb of their mind. In point of fact, though, what pops out of one's mind is usually quite raw and unrefined.

Your tune and your guitar-playing and the production of your song are quite pleasant, so you can at least salvage them and lay in some new vocal tracks once you've done some rewriting... unless you change the structure of the song or add a verse or something, in which case the studio work will have to change with it.

Whaddaya mean, that's too much work? Whaddaya mean, the song is finished? Just because it's been recorded and played on the radio? Then what did you ask us for help for? If you're not willing to change this song, at least take our advice under consideration when you write your next protest song (or any song, for that matter).