The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #103406   Message #2106165
Posted By: George Papavgeris
18-Jul-07 - 03:54 PM
Thread Name: Definately a protest song: feedback plea
Subject: RE: Definately a protest song: feedback plea
Lovely song; but I think it would improve if it was both more personalised and less specific. I explain:

Specifics (like the mention of Basra) can act as an obstacle to the listener in "personalising" it for him/herself.

But the writer's/singer's feelings can (and should) be made much of - whether explicitly stated or implicit - and this adds "penetrating force" to the lyric. Here's an example from what, for me, is the ultimate "mother of a soldier" song, by Tracey Curtis:

"And if I could see you just one more time
I would hold your face and tell you
I Love you Son,
More than anyone".

The imagery of the mother holding her son's face is irresistible; I dissolve every time I hear it.

But don't get me wrong - I really liked Wendy's song.