I was listening to Finest Kind's excellent rendition of 'Claudy Banks'
the other day, and it occurred to me that in that genre of songs---
you know, lover goes away to seek his fortune, returns in disguise
to locate girl (usually on river bank), and engages her in a
conversation designed to test her fidelity over the past, oh, seven or
so years--- the woman always seems grateful to see him.

Having, of course, proved her virtue by going mad when the fellow
in disguise informs her that her true love has met some awful fate,
and swearing that she'll never have another.

Then, the guy says 'no worries, love, it was me all along.'

Now I don't know about you, but any woman I did this to would
promptly chuck me straight into the (Claudy, Bann or whatever)
river that we were on the banks of at the time.

While I was drowning and she was chucking stones at my head, she'd
be informing me that

a) It wasn't a bit funny
b) She resented me putting her loyalty to such a test

and

c) Giving her a conniption fit by telling her the lover she'd
   waited for for 7 or more years was actually dead was a lousy
   way to prove my love

She'd then go and marry the local undertaker, who'd been wooing
her for six of those seven years.

It seems to me that all of these songs ignore the fundamental problem
of female nature and relationships, and must thus have been written
by wishful sailors who thought that the whole disguise and loyalty
test was a really good idea, but never actually carried it off.