It's perfectly possible to make a marriage APPEAR happy, not only to outsiders but to your partner and to your children and if you do a good enough job of it you cease to be unhappy yourself. You may not be able to say "I'm happy" but you don't spend all your time in misery. There's quite a wide spectrum of marriages in the less-than-perfect category. I wouldn't advocate staying together for the sake of the4 children if there is violence or even many arguements, but a person can be less than happy in a marriage without any of that.

Love Lynne