The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #103418   Message #2108532
Posted By: Dickey
22-Jul-07 - 08:39 AM
Thread Name: BS: Urine and its various uses.
Subject: RE: BS: Urine and its various uses.
During the American Civil War, The confederates were short on gunpowder so the resorted to collecting women's pee to make it with, inspring this poem:

ohn Harrolson! John Harrolson! You are a wretched creature.
You've added to this bloody war a new and awful feature.
You'd have us think while very man is bound to be a fighter,
The ladies, bless the dears, should save their P for nitre.

John Harrolson! John Harrolson! Where did you get the notion
To send your barrel 'round the town to gather up the lotion?
We thought the girls had work enough making shirts and kissing,
But you have put the pretty dears to patriotic pissing.

John Harrolson! John Harrolson! Do pray invent a neater
And somewhat more modest mode of making your saltpetre;
For 'tis an awful idea, John, gunpowdery and cranky,
That when a lady lifts her shift, she's killing off a Yankee.

The poem made it's way to the Union Army, where a Yankee penned the
following addendum:

John Harrolson! John Harrolson! We've read in song and story
How women's tears through all the years have moistened fields of
glory.
But never was it told before amid such scenes of slaughter
Your Southern beauties dried their tears and went to making water.

No wonder that your boys are brave, who wouldn't be a fighter
If every time he fired his gun, he used his sweetheart's nitre;
And vice-versa, what would make a Yankee soldier sadder
Than dodging bullets fired from a pretty woman's bladder?

They say there was a subtle smell that lingered in that powder,
And as the smoke grew thicker and the din of battle louder,
That there was found to this compound one serious objection,
No soldier boy could sniff it without having an erection.