I am willin' to have a kick at the can if it is the people's will. I figger it's time to bring some common sense to the White House. I wish I had a chance to run against that cheap lousy chimp imitator, George Bush, cos I would kick his scrawny Texas ass clear around the block! But I guess that ain't gonna happen cos he is a lame duck president now. Too bad.
I will face Cheney in the boxing ring anytime. Figger on just 2 hits. I hit him...he hits the mat.
If elected, I will put a bowl of bananas on every table and a mango in every juicer.
I will also bring back cars with running boards and big flared fenders. These cars we have now are boring. They all look the same. Besides, with no running boards to perch on whilst firin' a burst from yer tommy gun they are pretty useless as getaway and pursuit cars. No fun at all.