The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #33   Message #2110
Posted By: Jim Rosenkrans
11-Feb-97 - 01:02 AM
Thread Name: Lyr Req: Oh Dear What Can the Matter Be
Subject: Lyr Add: SEVEN OLD LADIES
I first heard the song 50 years ago or more, so long ago I have no recollection whatsoever about the original verses. I heard the following parody from Kevin James, a well-known Washington, DC metro area folk singer:

REFRAIN:
Oh dear, what can the matter be
Seven old ladies locked in the lavatory
They were there from Sunday till Saturday
Nobody knew they were there

The first old lady was old Mrs. Flynn
She prided herself on being quite thin
But when she sat down the poor dear fell in
Nobody knew she was there

The second old lady was old Mrs. Humphrey
She twisted and turned until she got comfy
But when she was through she could not get her bum free
Nobody knew she was there

The third old lady was old Mrs. Hart
Every two minutes to the toilet she'd dart
But when she got there all she did was read
Nobody knew she was there

The fourth old lady was old Mrs. Moore
She was drunk as skunk when she came through the door
The seats were all full so she peed on the floor
Nobody knew she was there

The fifth old lady was old Mrs. Brewster
She don't get around like she uster'
When she sat down she said somebody goosed her
Nobody knew I was there

The sixth old lady was old Mrs. Bender
When she sat down she snapped a suspender
It hit her in the feminine gender
Nobody knew she was there

The seventh old lady was old Mrs. Mason
She came in and peed in the basin
That's the water I washed my face in
Nobody knew I was there