I don't have IAS - just one guitar, one fiddle and bow, two whistles (in different keys) and one harmonica. In fact, when I bought an instrument and didn't like it, I got rid of it right away (how's that tabor pipe coming along, Chet? Have your neighbours started a petition yet?)

But I am terribly fond of my musical paraphernalia - I have acquired very good cases for my fiddle and guitar, an electronic tuner, metronome, muting clamp, dampit, capo, external mike for my ghettoblaster, shoulder rest, picks I never use, two rosin cakes. Also, I sewed carrying bags for my small instruments, and knotted tails for my fiddle, and embroidered and sewed a guitar strap. Then of course, there's that huge pile of papers with sheet, tab, and chords that I'm going to learn someday.

And Michael K. - I feel your pain concerning people who have instruments they don't deserve. My grandfather and great-grandfather were Quebecois fiddlers, and my grandmother now has their fiddle - a quite nice-sounding one. I am now the only fiddler in the family, and the only person who is passionate about music, so in my mind I have some claim on the fiddle. However, the problem with old heirloom fiddles is that you have to play them with your penis, so I can't inherit it.

I wouldn't be quite so bitter about it if the fiddle were going to one of my male cousins who play electric guitar - at least they have some concept that instruments are precious things and should be played and cared for. Instead, the fiddle is going to my uncle, who doesn't know a note from... well, just about anything. At one point he thought he would try to learn to play it, so he PAINTED frets on the neck. Then to add injury to insult, he CRAZY-GLUED the tuning pegs in place. I don't need to tell you my opinion of this man - I'm sure that last sentence has generated a little instrument rage among Mudcatters.

Marion, the bitter gadget girl