Pistachio,
Kids don't come with a book of directions and we do the best we can with the parenting skills we inherited and the belief that we will not repeat our parent's mistakes. LOL

I believe that a parent needs to be the authority figure and not a "friend". I cringe when I hear a child, even an adult child, call his parents by their first names. (Work situations excluded).

One of your children is working; the other is in school. You did something right. PM me or TRUBRIT before you get too jealous. Deborah's son is bright and handsome and charming and he drove her to distraction for many of his teen years. Mine did the same. They grow up. Sometimes they mature too. Mine hasn't yet - he is 32.

Be proud that you raised two functioning adult children. And let them know that you are proud of them and why. Accept that they have vowed not to make the same mistakes you did and they will anyway plus a few of their own.

I too am the proud aunt who is thrilled at my nephew's marriage, success at work and writing career. His sister is a brilliant student. Finished her MA while working full time and now is atarting a law degree. Another niece quit her full professorchip when the BS got out of hand. Good for her! Her brother is married and has a beautiful little girl who is fighting the battle against autism. Another niece finished her MA and has been approached about having her thesis published. She has two little boys who are so full of life they fill a room with smiles.
Life is good.
Mary