"Read the bottom line on the chart please, Mr. Pasicznyk."

"Er, J, M, C, Y ... yes, I know him."

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A true story. Two of my friends, one of whom I played rugby with, were the descendents of Eastern European immigrants (possibly DPs, Displaced Persons, who moved to Britain immediately after the war.) Both were schoolteachers. They became engaged. At the lady's school, the headmaster stood up at morning assembly and said "You will all be pleased to hear that Miss Sauznieva is getting married." They were, none more so than form 3B, whose parents had a devil of a time writing notes explaining absence or sickness.* The headmaster continued, "She is getting married to a Mr. Janikuczacz ..."

* Mind you, these parents were also the source of the joke about, "Please excuse my son's absence from school yesterday. He had disa dyary dysarr the shits."

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Claims of floods of immigrants driving UK people out of subsidised housing and work have been around since the b****y Romans arrived. Personally, I have little regard for the UK immigration authorities, who spend endless hours harrassing genuine refugees, while failing to halt the activities of criminals such as people-smugglers, and the gang-masters of cheap illegal immigrant labourers. Their so called successes smack too much of "low-hanging fruit".