Parcel of Rogues 2007 (or "The West Lothian Question")
Alan Francis (with no apologies to Robert Burns)

Farewell to all our English fame,
Farewell our ancient glory!
For Scots have rendered England tame,
And scorned our martial story!
For Sark runs over Solway sands,
And Tweed runs to the ocean,
To mark where Scotland's province stands -
Such a parcel of rogues in a nation!

What force or guile could not subdue
Through many warlike ages
Is wrought now by a coward few
For hireling traitor's wages.
The Scottish steel we could disdain,
Secure in valour's station;
Now these Scottish thanes drive us insane -
Such a parcel of rogues in a nation!

O, would that I had not seen the day
That Parliament would sell us,
And my old grey head had lain in clay
Before the day of these heirs of Wallace!
For while Gordon Brown rules in London town
I will make this declaration
'England is brought down by this Scottish clown -
Such a parcel of rogues in a nation!'

Without Scottish and Welsh MPs at Westminster, New Labour could not rule. Despite Scottish and Welsh devolution MPs who do not represent English constituencies still vote on English matters. This would not matter so much if it were not for the growing number of issues where Scotland fares better than England - not least in respect of student fees and the abominable 2003 Licensing Act that is killing off live music in England.

A pox on the Caledonians!

Alan