You got a lotta nerve, MMario! Stop perpetuatin' these dumb insulting stereotypes about primates or I will hafta come down there and teach you a lesson.

So...the two chumps wanta have a duel, huh? Hysterical. This'll be like one of them fights at the Nerd School, I figger. A lotta sound and not much action. In one corner we got a joker who talks way too much and tries to impress people with big words all the time...in the other corner we got....fer gosh sakes! It's another joker of the same friggin' type.

I can hardly tell these two clowns apart without a program, but I know one of 'em is livin' in California and the other one is livin' in Ontario, Canada. That makes arrangin' this duel kinda expensive and impractical, if ya ask me. The travel costs will be high, and what's the payoff? Who wants to go 3,000 miles to watch two nerds face off?

Normally I would recommend guns for a duel. Tommy guns would be pretty good, but pistols would be better in my opinion. It takes more skill to shoot someone with a pistol.

But in this case...naw....it'd be a waste of ammunition. And you'd have to stand 'em only three feet apart so it wouldn't last all day.

Look, here's my idea fer Amos and Hawk. Try talkin' each other to death. That eliminates the travel costs and it saves money on bullets too.

If it don't work out, I will be glad to show up with the tommy gun and finish the job. But on my schedule, not yours. I got work to do.

- Chongo