I fell down and stepped on it.
If it was up your ass you'd know.
It's not my turn to watch it.


True story, I swear... Some years ago, I was having a problem with my knee, and a neighbor loaned me a big magnetic bandage. Wearing it on the outside, I walked into a little store, and a nosy woman asked what I did to my knee. This is what I told her.."My wife and I were doing it like dogs and she ran up under the porch."

I thought she would be offended, but, she laughed right out loud. She may have wet her knickers...I didn't check.