Okay, here we go.

The Lavender Cowboy

Chorus: He was only a Lavender Cowboy;
He had only 3 hairs on his chest.
And he rode on a filly called Daffydowndilly,
The sexiest horse in the West.

Every morning they'd ride out together,
While others looked on in dismay,
For he rounded up cattle while riding sidesaddle,
Because he was funny that way.

Chorus:

He was only a Lavender Cowboy,
The other cowpokes used to tease,
So he went on a bender and shot a bartender
Because he said "Smile sweetie, please!" (Sung with a lisp)

Chorus:

They sent out a posse to get him,
To bring him back dead or alive,
And they knew as they went they were hot on his scent,
By the smell of Chanel Number 5.

Chorus:

When they finally had him surrounded,
The sheriff stepped forward and said
"I'm coming to get ya" -
"Oh goody! I'll let ya."
The Lavender Cowboy he said.

Chorus:

The sheriff he went for his six-gun,
He took aim and he could not miss,
But our hero was quicker and quick as a flicker,
He blew the brave sheriff.............a kiss!

Chorus: