The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #59418   Message #2121934
Posted By: Amos
08-Aug-07 - 03:41 PM
Thread Name: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
Here, Little Hawk, are some much healthier thoughts to help you in your recovery:

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

42.76 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted.

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?

Nothing is foolproof to a fool who has real talent.

Remember half the people you know are below average.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back.

The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

When everything's coming your way, you're going the wrong way on a one-way street

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.

No one pays attention until you make a mistake.

Success occurs in private and failure in full view.

The harder the butter the softer the bread.

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

Two wrongs are only the beginning.

The sooner you fall behind the more time you have to catch up.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Change is inevitable except from vending machines.

Plan to be spontaneous!

Always be modest and proud that you are!

If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

How many in this room believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand...

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.

Ponder them well. There will be a quiz.