Favourite Cooper joke and alleged real-life incident:
Man goes to his mate's house one morning and says to his wife, "Is Fred at home?"
"No", she replies, "he had a heart attack last night, he's dead".
"Did he say anything about a tin of paint?"

Cooper was at a Royal Command Performance, after which he lined up with the other performers to meet the Queen. As she drew level he said, "Are you going to the Cup Final this year?"
Taken aback she replied, "No, we're otherwise engaged".
"Can I have your ticket?"
Jim Carroll