The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #103989   Message #2127610
Posted By: Jim Dixon
16-Aug-07 - 11:50 PM
Thread Name: Lyr Req/Add: He Goes to Church on Sunday
Subject: Lyr Add: HE GOES TO CHURCH ON SUNDAY (Bryan, Goetz
My transcription from the sheet music at the Levy site:

HE GOES TO CHURCH ON SUNDAY
Words, Vincent Bryan. Music, E. Ray Goetz.
New York: Maurice Shapiro, 1907.

1. I know a very wicked man. I knew him when a lad.
I never met his equal telling lies.
And though he takes delight in doing ev'rything that's bad,
He thinks he'll go to heaven when he dies.
When but a child, he robbed his dear old grandma in her sleep.
He stole two golden teeth out of her jaws.
He's been a kleptomaniac since he began to creep,
But the neighbors think that he's all right, because...

CHORUS: He goes to church on Sunday.
He passes round the contribution box;
But meet him in the office on a Monday,
He's as crooked and as cunning as a fox.
On Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday,
He's robbing ev'rybody that he can,
But he goes to church on Sunday,
So they say that he's an honest man.

2. All through the week, this wicked man is fond of drinking deep.
He makes his fam'ly wish that they were dead.
He gives his kids a penny each, to make them go to sleep,
And then he robs them when they go to bed.
They wake up in the morning and they look round for the cent,
Then in a crying chorus they all join.
Then papa scolds the kids and asks them where the money went,
And he spanks them all because they lost the coin.
And ... CHORUS

3. I always thought my fam'ly doctor honest as could be,
Until I had a pain the other day.
He said, "You have appendicitis, I can plainly see.
You need an operation right away."
He charged three hundred dollars for that operation,
Then he found I only had a stomach ache.
He left his scissors in me when he sewed me up again;
Then he went and marked me, "Opened by mistake."
And ... CHORUS

4. I've lost my faith in lawyers, too. There's one a friend of mine:
I though that he was honest and O. K.
I asked him once if he supposed the weather would be fine.
He answered, "No, it's sure to rain today."
Next day, I got a note which read, "I've sent my bill to you:
Ten dollars for opinion on the rain."
I wouldn't pay. He sued me, and he got a judgment too.
I was busted, so he took my watch and chain.
And ... CHORUS