You're just jealous of my friendships with the greats of literature. Folks like Nat Hawthorne, Sammy Clemens, Dan T. Aligheiri, "Junior" Whitman, Willy Yeats, Perc Shelley, Annie Rutledge, Bob Herrick, Al Pope, "Main Jane" Austen, Tony Trollope, "Giggles" Bronte and her sisters, "Lucky Johnny" Donne, Tommy "Gun" Eliot, Bill "Sellout" Wordsworth, Colley Cibber, Chattering Tom Chatterton, "Eminem" Dickinson, and the rest of the pals of my youth. And I didn't even mention Izzy Newton, Archie Mides, Pete Lavoisier, Blazin' Blaise Pascal, "Cats" Schrodinger, Jimmy Maxwell, "Crazy" Gallilei, Al Turing, and the rest of the nerds.

Mom! Amos is jealous 'cause I have lots of friends and he don't!