whereas if you get the cheap brands, you would be very lucky if there were 43 tomatoes in a bottle. the one that puzzled me was the one and a half glasses of milk in a bar of chocolate. How big were the glasses, one wondered.

When you become an adult and realise that all these things are a load of crap, its a bit of a weight lifted.

I think there should be, when you get to 21, a day of disabuse - when they tell you the truth. It would give you a clean start.

Father Chritmas.... that was your Dad. All that stuff about loving you....actually, we were never all that keen. When you die, that's it - no angels, no devils - just a long dreamless kip. And all that stuff about us knowing everything, we didn't - we made it up!