Now, these are myths, of course. I suppose we could start telling things about our ex-spouses, and they would all be true. Take, for instance, mine. You people tell these horror myths about black widow spiders. Well, my ex found one, and caught it and kept it in a jar on MY WORKBENCH. Wouldn't you know it, the spider started spinning something inside the jar - an egg sac - and then apparently laid eggs. My ex found this a fascinating thing to keep on MY WORKBENCH, so the jar stayed there until hundreds of tiny white spiders filled the jar. And then they started to get out. Suddenly, my ex lost interest in them. Guess who was chosen to do cleanup. And I lived to pay lots of child support in later years.....
But I gotta say, that in my 25 years here in the land of rattlesnakes and black widows, I have never known anyone who got bit. Oh - and our tarantulas are really quite good-natured. Maybe we have less to fear than we think. Some of our myths may be true, but not nearly as much of a threat as we might think. On the other hand, California ex-wives are more than a little frightening, and they're very expensive.
-Joe Offer-