Well if we're gonna have birthday songs, here's one.

BIRTHDAY DIRGE (to the tune of the Volga Boatmen)

Happy Birthday! (UNH!)
Happy Birthday! (UNH!)

Death and gloom and dark despair
People dying everywhere

Happy Birthday! (UNH!)
Happy Birthday! (UNH!)

Birthdays come, but once a year
Marking time, as Death draws near

May the candles on your cake
Burn like cities in your wake

May your deeds with sheep and yaks
Equal those with sword and axe

Burn the Castle and storm the keep
Kill the Women but SAVE THE SHEEP!

We brought linen, white as cloud
Now we'll sit and sew your shroud!

Long ago your hair turned grey
Now it's falling out, they say

This one lesson you must learn
FIRST you pillage, THEN you burn!

Now you are the age you are
Your demise cannot be far

Death will come before the dawn
Now's the time to party on!

Happy Birthday! (UNH!)
Happy Birthday! (UNH!)