The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #59418   Message #2134835
Posted By: Rapparee
27-Aug-07 - 05:40 PM
Thread Name: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
Nail-Teeth Ned picked a fight with me up at the Legion Hovel 'tother night, LH. Neddy was thought to be the meanest, dirtiest-fighting, guy in these parts. Used to bite ears off his opponents, chew them up, and spit them back into the guy's face. He collected noses that he'd pulled off. His body odor was such that he lived at the dump and kept it free of rats and flies; his hair was so greasy bedbugs used it for a ski jump. Every now and then he'd eat a boulder "ta keep ma breth fresh" as he so quaintly put it.

Anyway, he started in about lace doilies, and then he tried to "muckle into" me.

I laid him out with one punch and shoved his feet so far down his throat that he disappeared completely.

Today an awful lot of overdue books were returned....