That's what I get for posting late at night, when I'm tired and don't even realize it: I ramble on about how I wrote the song, and I forget to say why I'm uncertain about it. So --

Specifically:

Does the shift from D minor to F major, within the verses, work? I did it intentionally, to underline the tragi-comic nature of life (with the major key ultimately winning out), but I wonder if I'm being too clever by half.

Similarly, I wonder about the chorus -- that line: "Without any reason or rhyme" is deliberately out of either key, and doesn't rhyme -- too clever? Also, the rhythm changes for a few bars, after that. Does this help break up monotony, or is it jarring? And in general, is the melody of the chorus a good seque from the end of one verse to the beginning of the next?

I've had this song in my head so much, lately, I can't hear it clearly.

Thanks for any suggestions!