Thanks, Janie and dianavan. I will forward that on to my relative, word for word.
Janie, thanks especially for the cogent restatement of the situation and for the remarks about the difference it should make to be anonymous vs. strongly confidential.
Dianavan, thaks for your remarks about church contact. I don't know how it applies in this long-distance situation (yet), but I appreciate the encouragement for our own efforts here. What you describe is one of the reasons my husband's minstry here has been such a success, and my own visiting with the elderly in various volunteer capacities also has been noted. We don't do it to get noticed-- we do it because the people here live forever and get more and more lovable over time and we just love 'em-- but it does have a large role in our credibility for everything else.