Once upon a time, in the land of Nodd, there lived a beautiful queen with magnificent and legendary breasts. They were hailed by poets from all over the world as being the most perfect of their kind and were considered the formost of the country's national treasures. Nick the Dragon Slayer obsessed over the queen for this reason. He knew that the penalty for consummating his desire would be death should he try to touch these regal fun bags, but he had to try.
   So one day Nick revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the Physician, the King's chief doctor. Horatio thought about this and said finally that he could arrange for Nick to more than satisfy his desire, but that it would cost 1000 gold coins to arrange it. Without pause, Nick readily agreed.
   The next day, Horatio made up a special mixture of itching powder and poured a little of it into the Queen's brassiere while she bathed. Right after she had gotten dressed, the itching began and soon grew intense. She could get no relief. Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this problem, Horatio informed the King and Queen that only the saliva of a Dragon Slayer, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch.
   The King quickly summoned Nick. Horatio then slipped Nick the antidote for the itching powder, which he put into his mouth, and for the next four hours, Nick worked passionately on the royal bosom. The queen's itching was eventually relieved, and Nick left satisfied and was even hailed as a hero.
   Upon returning to his home, Nick found Horatio waiting, demanding his payment of 1,000 gold coins. His desires now satisfied and knowing that Horatio could never report this matter to the King, Nick told the physician there was no way he was going to pay the agreed-upon fee.
   The next day, Horatio slipped a massive dose of the same itching powder into the King's underwear. The King immediately summoned Nick the Dragon Slayer to his chambers.

   The moral of the story... Pay your bills.