"Senior Dress Code"

Many Seniors (those over 50, WAY over 50,
or hovering near 50) are quite confused about
how they should present ourselves. Despite
what you may have seen on the streets, the
following combinations DO NOT go together
and should be avoided:

1. A nose ring and bifocals

2. Spiked hair and bald spots

3. A pierced tongue and dentures

4. Miniskirts and support hose

5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads

6. Speedos and cellulite

7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar

8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor

9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge

10. Bikinis and liver spots

11. Short shorts and varicose veins

12. Inline skates and a walker

And last, but not least...my personal favorite:

13. Thongs and Depends

Dave Oesterreich