Does anybody really like folk clubs? Or are those of us who still frequent them just masochists?

My experience is with UK versions of this strange phenomenon, of which I am surprisingly very fond and which I will try to describe here, to those unfamiliar with them. It would be interesting to hear where other parts of the world differ, or are, God forbid, similar.

They are usually to be found in the back room of a pub. This room is also used for other more important activities, like pool, darts, stripper and 'drag nights'. They are held on a regular basis, except for the summer months. They are always on the first Thursday of every month with an R in it, except when this falls on a Friday, when it will be held three times a month. That night will not be a 'guest night' as performers booked for this night, tend to get confused and turn up on Saturday, or not at all?

The heating is never adequate in the winter and in the summer it is always too hot. The fan is so noisy and has to be turned off, because the music cannot be heard above the sound of it rattling away or its shorting out.

The clubs are usually run by a single devoted enthusiastic soul, or a small team of such and my thanks go out to them. They are very a dedicated bunch and will move heaven and earth, whatever disasters may befall on the evening. Like running out of beer, a faulty or 'missing' PA, no guest or too many guests, leaks, floods, boils and 'plagues of frogs'. To always ensure that the raffle will always take place.

The evening may have only started at 09.15, 'old Charlie', may have decided to do all the known verses of 'The Plains Of Waterloo' and made up a few more, complete with an instrumental break between each verse, on kazoo. The M.C will have done their spot. The guest may not start his set until 5 minutes before 'last orders' and during which the pot man is noisily collecting the empties. But do not worry, for the raffle will be held.

For the set will be interrupted, to thank everyone for turning out, on such a cold night and to hope that the heating will be fixed for the next month. Which of course will then be on Tuesday. To thank all those that made the coffee, to ask for another round of applause for our 'wonderful' guest, who we would like to hear another song from but have 'just run out of time'. To thank the landlord (who is at this time loudly scraping the tables around the room), who has to get ready for a wedding tomorrow. But we just have time for our guest to pick out the winning raffle ticket and do all have safe journey home.

My 'tongue is in my cheek' and this is an easy target, of course but even the most indignant reader of this, would have to admit to recognising, at least some of the above? On one level it makes me mad and on another level, I love it all dearly.

If there are ones that do not have any of the above drawbacks, would you please let us know where they are? Canada? Australia? Iceland?

I have seen some wonderful performances in folk clubs but I think this is always despite the conditions set rather than because of them. We may be devoted enough, to endure a lot of this tedium whilst waiting for the good bit. The test is, would you really be prepared to recommend this to your friends, as a good enjoyable evening out and accompany them there?

Hell! I never win the bloody raffle, anyway.