I'm sorry Wes, but I have turned you in to Bureau of Funshit Foolery (BOFF) for posession of a lethal instrument without permit. As I'm sure you are aware, although the Bill of Rights grants each citizen to the inalienable right to own a howitzer, mandolins and their ilk are strictly regulated and our founding fathers were wise not to include them in the constitution.

Each year, thousands of US citizens are attacked by mando playing fools and the assault on their sensibilities has taken a toll and forced many to purchase a Glock. Their cousin, the tiple, a bastard offspring of the guitar and mandolin has already been used by the CIA for the overthrow of several third world regimes and indeed speculation runs high that CIA/Mafia Tiplers were in Dallas in 1963, although the Warren Commission dismissed the notion in favor of the "Single String Theory."

Best advice I can give you is to give yourself up now before BOFF agents establish a perimeter around your domicile, shoot your dog, kid, and wife, with legal firearms and confiscate your mandolin.

Spaw