John. you really expose yourself to receiving a raft of crap by starting a thread with such a confession. Since, obviously, you have identified your drinking as a problem, I hope you will pursue a solution and begin a process of recovery. Banjoman has identified himself as an AA member. You might personal message him (you would have to become a member first) for more details about the program. Or PM me or any other sympathetic folks if you just want someone to talk about it to. Best of luck to you, John.

LEJ