Well, Mrs Duck, let's put the most positive construct we can on all this. Charlie is a good, solid citizen. You'd be safe in his hands as long as he doesn't panic. Big if, actually! And don't bother to look him in the eye, as he'll be looking heavenwards anyway. Seth is a Lakeperson from Crapstone, near Chipshop, near Yelverton, almost (but not quite) on Dartmoor. It's a real challenge to go to Crapstone and not get rained on. Actually, it's a real challenge to go to Crapstone.   We won't mention Equation. I too have nothing against Alan "Garden Humper" Titmarsh (and yes, I can spell), but I have nothing for him either. As for Michael "I am a professional Yorkshireman" Parkinson, well what can I say? Advisedly, nothing, as I am a Lancashire lad!