YUCKY BUGS - Dan MacArthur

We planted the cabbage at the end of the garden
Sat back home and watched it grow
They aren't much trouble; no one really likes to eat them
'Cept some little tiny bugs we all know.
They don't have to grow in very good soil
So it comes as a kind of a surprise
That those cabbage worms will eat 'em 'till there ain't nothing left
If you don't squash the little butterflies.

Chorus:
So come on down, let's go out and have a bug-squashing party tonight
We'll squish those little buggers as they begin to flutter
'Till our fingers have turned all white.
We'll clean the cabbage worms out of the cabbage patch
And everything will work out right
So come on down, let's go out and have a bug-squashing party tonight.

Take a ramble through the brambles growing six feet tall
Grab some berries and pop 'em in your mouth
'Cause it takes a lot of time to keep your berries healthy
Takes water to keep away the drought.
And then those little green bugs will come along and eat 'em
'Till the vines fall over in the rain
But if you grab those little bugs, you can squish 'em in your fingers
And your berry patch is healthy again.

So come on down....
We'll kill those Japanese beetles in their shiny green armor
If they don't get away in flight.
They're loving each other all over the bushes
Completely unaware of their plight
So come on down....

Now slugs is bugs that nobody loves
But everybody understands
That they look disgusting, and they taste disgusting
And they feel disgusting in your hands.
But of all the little bugs that grow in the garden
Slugs have a special place in my heart
Because they like to drink beer, they'll drink any kind of beer
And they never quit drinking once they start.

So come on down, let's go out and have a slug-drowning party tonight
No, they can't tell if they're floating in Guinness
Or sinking in Miller Lite.
They ain't particular and they got no taste
And they'll drown in any beer in sight
So come on down, let's go out, and have a slug-drowning party tonight.

Now, I never would have believed I'd be telling my kids
It's okay to kill another living thing
And I know what you mean when you tell me even Japanese
Beetles can learn how to sing.
And I agree when you tell me every living thing
Should have a chance to live the way that they wish
But if I go and plant it, why then gol-dernit
If you eat it you're gonna get squished.

So come on down....
'Cause we don't like to spray 'em and we don't want to zap 'em
And we don't want to cause 'em any fright.
If they'd leave us alone, we'd leave 'em alone
And everything would work out right
But come on....