Thank you Dave. I hope the comments are seen as constructive and not otherwise.

Slightly tongue in cheek, may I also suggest a table shanty competition next year, with a prize for the best table shanty.

To the tune of "Blood Red Roses"...

"Your table's ready, food is done
Sit down, you hungry yuppies, sit down
For that is where my profits come
Sit down, you hungry yuppies, sit down
Oh you hungry foodies
Sit down, you hungry yuppies, sit down"

There are other verses too.




And maybe a table-waiting morris dance competition too, eg set table with Besty and Fool seated; ring of 8 dancers (with border sticks) circle with longsword step, 4 dancers approach, 1 towards each table corner capering, pause, bow, scrape floor with stick, alternate stick whacks over diners heads, retreat to ring capering backwards, turn to 4 pairs (the retreating dancers on outside) and process like spokes of a wheel to the next corner, revert to ring, dance round as before, fresh dancer approaches each corner, repeat. After each spoke has done each corner, in the next ring proceed as hay until the odd and even number dancers have changed places. Repeat. After these different 4 spokes have done each corner, each dancer will ahve been on each corner. Circle briefly. Rush from ring flanking table (like Gog Magog Molly do), reforming circle with yell and sticks high.

Fool and Betsy fall to floor.