An item by a vet in the local paper suggested patience, patience and more patience. A cat already in the house helps tremendously. A few will accept food, live in the house, but will never accept close handling; the vet said let her have her privacy.
This vet (and, I would think, most of them) knows how to put a cat under without receiving wounds that require stitches; this has to be done for the operation anyway, and even a friendly, 'docile' cat may sense !danger! and put up a struggle.

Greg B. seems to have a similar situation to yours.