spaw,
when blue clickies are given with that attitude, they are much appreciated. that's how i found out how to make a blue clickie.
neo,
i think this is a great topic for discussion. our local song circle has been going for many years, and although there are some consistent 'rules', there are also some disagreements which flare up from time to time.
what i quite enjoy about our group is that we do not have a leader. the host begins with a song, and then chooses which direction the circle will go. it is extremely rare that even a whisper will detract from anyone's contribution. the group as a whole is very supportive and encouraging to newcomers. because we meet weekly, there is a gigantic repertoire, comprised of both traditional and newly-composed folk. sometimes there will be more instruments show up than at other times, and although there can be some mighty fine jamming after the break, the instruments do not seem to detract or impose upon the singer. there are a few less considerate members than others, and we're not perfect, but those who set up high standards for the group have a group they can be proud of.
i just want to respond to a couple of things rick said at the beginning. "3. Do NOT play along unless invited to. (different situation than a jam session) "
i think our unwritten rule is 'be sure that the song is respected, and feel welcome to play along tastefully unless you are requested not to'. some songs are obviously a cappella and should be respected as such.

"4. If folks Do play along and you don't know the chords to the song just listen. (you'll win a HUGE amount of respect from the folks who respect the music)"
i think you meant 'just sing', didn't you, rick?

"7. Take the time to memorize a song so you can "live it". Some folks have a devil of a time memorizing, but others just don't appear to have tried hard enough."
i'm not sure how you can judge that. i have been accused of not trying hard enough, when really i have a devil of a time memorizing words. and being judged harshly makes it that much more difficult to give it a try without the words. sometimes i use them, sometimes i don't, but i don't see any merit in singing a song badly without the words when if one can lead it better with them. i'm working on the memory skill, and if i use the words i try to keep them on my lap just to refer to, but i really don't like the idea of someone judging this point each time someone uses lyrics. there's another thread about this, isn't there, spaw? :-) "8. Beware of getting SERIOUS FLACK for advocating #s 1 through 8."
so, did i give you flack, rick?
i did think your other points were useful!

~black walnut