Auntie Mary's Skunk

There was an old skunk and he lived in a lair
Sniffin', coughin' sneezin'
Down underneath aunt Mary's stair
A nice easy life he's leadin'

The skunk one day went walkabout
Sniffin', coughin' sneezin'
Saw old Seamus looking out
Decided to do some teasin'

Up jumps Seamus, barking at the door
Sniffin', coughin' sneezin'
Up jumps Mary from her snore
Rushes to do his pleasin'

He raced down the stairs to her great dismay
Sniffin', coughin' sneezin'
The skunk turned tail and released his spray
Hit bull's eye, he was succeedin'

Poor Seamus sat down on his bum
Sniffin', coughin' sneezin'
Believe you me, he looked quite numb
Discomfort was fast increasin'

He rolled to the left and he rolled to the right
Sniffin', coughin' sneezin'
Bounded back up, with a squeeze so tight
In through the door he's easin'

He ran through the kitchen and he jumped on a chair
Sniffin', coughin' sneezin'
Aunt Mary tearing at her hair
After the pupper speedin'

She washed him with vinegar, she washed him with soap
Sniffin', coughin' sneezin'
Walked him on a ten yard rope
The odeur was far from pleasin'

With wat'ry eyes and heaving chest
Sniffin', coughin' sneezin'
She gave the cleaning all her best
Alas, she was not succeedin'

Poor Seamus now plays solitaire
Sniffin', coughin' sneezin'
The skunk is back inside his lair
Curled up to stop him freezin'

(To the tune: Weila Waila)

Bente
(off to board up the mailbox and barricade the door before the dryer lint-and-glue extravaganzas start arriving)