Rhinos 'putting the party back in political party'
Jessica Johnston, News Editor

Just when you thought it was safe to participate in the electoral process...

Following a 13-year alcohol-induced absence, the long lost and much loved (by some, anyway) Rhino Party has re-entered B.C. politics just in time for the upcoming provincial election.

The party is promising cocaine and whores (among other things), barbequing rats at the Vancouver Art Gallery, getting down to some serious ridiculousness, and making fun of everything in sight.

The Rhino Party is described as "a pro-democracy, anarcho-absurdist movement dedicated to humankind's innate right to have a good time," and is comprised of "artists, anarchists, absurdists, activists, alcoholics, practical jokers, loudmouths, perverts, door-crashers, weirdos, maniacs, show-offs, oddballs, and morons."

Despite the Rhinos' overt disrespect for conventional politics and their mandate for having fun, the party's platform is clear, comprehensive and designed to ensure the economic well-being of this province.

The Peak was fortunate enough to obtain a rare interview with Liar Liar, one of two Rhino candidates who will be running in this week's provincial election.

Once elected, one of the first acts of the Rhino mandate will be to eliminate B.C.'s provincial status in order to become a corporation, says Liar.

"What I intend to do is to turn the province into a corporation because as we know, human rights laws and environmental law - what good are they doing us? None. They just get in the way of us making profit... what I want to do is eliminate the provincial status we have now and trade it in for corporation status so we'll actually have more legal leverage on the international scene." In order to gain the start-up capital for this new corporation, the Rhinos intend to "log, fish, mine and hunt everything within our borders," says Liar, "trees are really just something that obstruct our view of profit."