There was a young plumber of Leigh
Who was plumbing a maid by the sea.
Said the maid, "Cease your plumbing,
I hear someone coming."
Said the plumber, still plumbing, "It's me."

Once a whore did a priest in a pew
After doing a vicar there too
She said, the vicar is quicker,
And slicker and thicker,
And 6 inches longer than you.

The intelligent beings are out there
From Vega, Deneb, or Altair.
It's only a matter
Of hearing their chatter
Though translation is too much to bear.

The sex act's a curious thing;
It's a bang, tryste, boff, or a fling.
A ball, screw, or schtup,
Are all ways to say f*ck,
Her joy-box with your ding-a-ling.

There once was a lady who thought
Only one thing, but thought it a lot.
She thought yes and no,
Till at eighty or so,
She decided she rather thought not.

And the song went on. . .