Ass-paragus

Boil in a shallow, covered dish until asparagus begins to dissolve into a phlegm-like residue. Add two cups boiling 7-Up, and simmer until asparagus and 7-Up have been reduced to green, viscous syrup. Add 4 ounces fresh dairy butter, and stir. Pour into small individual servings, and place in the refrigerator for 1 1/2 hours. Eat with a spoon, or spread on melba toast for a treat that will have the kids saying "Hey Mom! Can I eat at Tommy's house again tonight?"

You're really cooking when you're cooking with 7-UP !