I think it all started to go wrong about the time Pukka Pies started to be sold in chip shops. I chart the moral decline of our nation from the first chicken and mushroom pie - that was the start of all this fast living. Too much too soon - and then beast of carnal desire was loose amongst us. 1971, I think it was.

When my uncle came to visit us from the USA in 1965, he asked for some pizza pie when we asked him what he wanted to eat - and of course we had no idea of which he spoke. I think Americans have always been a bit racier and more flamboyant in that way than us.