Dear SS
You see, it's the moorhens, mice, sticks and stones that worry me. And the rather fist-shaking tone of message. I'm a gentle soul, not given to confrontations, and I've had a remarkably well-behaved year in which I've done my best to help others and keep my temper at all times, so I wasn't expecting multi-lingual suggestions that I've been mistreating kookaburras with alcohol and so on.
I don't suppose we've ever met so you only have my word for this, I know, but send an elf or a reindeer along at any time and they can check out my credentials. I'm just not used to a Santa who seems to be grumpy before the festive season even starts. Can I make you a nice cup of tea, perhaps, and offer you one of my home-made mince pies? I used only the very best cooking brandy in the mincemeat...

Tabster