Funnily enough, I sang this one this weekend.....

Penned by our own Morticia

A Hundred Or Less (Tune – Thousands Or More)

I wear high heeled shoes and a bright scarlet dress
And I'll take them all off for a hundred or less

I stick on my pasties with an air of resolve
For a fifty quid note you can see them revolve

My pet's name is Fluffy and here's a new take
He stands quite still and I dance round the snake

It's a noble profession, yet some think us whores
Though I'll dance around my snake, I won't dance round yours

I see you're excited, but I'm wed so beware
To the bouncer who's ten feet and covered in hair

The last chap who chanced it, my husband did deck
Then he tore of his head and he spit down his neck