Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear ... now Rapaire seems to have caused an Incident with HIS Santa (who does sound scary) and I'm getting warned off by an elf.
Look, I just wanted a regular, cheery, rosy cheeked, avuncular Santa who would do the right thing by me. Thassorl. I didn't want to cause any trouble.
If there are any Santas with spare capacity who might like to adopt me as well as their "proper" Santees I can promise you a decent mince pie AND a letter up the chimney.

*sniff*