That just about sums it up, Mr Bridge - that'll do nicely!

"Fretwankers" - excellent - that should go straight into the OED!

Oh yes, WLD, I despise people who can't be bothered to learn the words and read them out of an exercise book. I would make them read through the words several times (while the audience hiss, boo and stamp their feet), then eat the exercise book and sing the song word perfect. If they fail they would have to come back next week (with another exercise book, of course) and repeat the whole process - and so on until they get it right!

OOOH!! How nasty is that?!